If you are a married man with a child, and you are thinking of divorcing your wife, you may also be thinking about getting full custody of your child or children. Although women are not automatically given custody of their children, it is still an uphill battle for men. State laws vary, but there are common aspects to custody. With that in mind, the following are a few things you should know.
You must demonstrate that you are a good father
If your children are old enough, such as teenagers, and they want to live with you, then you won't have to spend too much time convincing a judge that you are a good father. However, with younger children, you will need to articulate what exactly you do with your kids to establish yourself as a good father. Setting aside any bias a judge may have, children often end up with the parent that does most of the childcare. You will have to explain everything that you do, and if there are things your wife does, you should explain how you plan to handle these new responsibilities.
You must demonstrate that your wife is an unfit mother
It's not enough that you're a good father, to get sole custody, you need to demonstrate that your wife is unfit. If your wife is addicted to drugs or alcohol, and you can document this, then it is an easy decision for a judge. Infidelity means nothing in a custody case unless you can relate it to the endangerment or negligence of your children. But even without an attack on your wife's character, she may be an unfit mother simply because of time constraints. She has a career, and she's good at her job, but she also works long hours and cannot spend the time needed to raise one or more children. In a situation such as this, being an unfit mother has nothing to do with her character.
You may end up with joint custody
You have to be prepared for this. Although family courts routinely awarded custody to mothers, today, there is a recognition that children need both a father and a mother. Unless you or your wife can demonstrate that one is unfit, a judge may award joint custody. Both you and your wife will be making decisions about your children's future, and they will likely spend time living with both of you. If both you and your wife cannot agree on a joint custody arrangement, the battle for your children may be intense, and when the dust settles, both parties wind up with joint custody anyway.
It is important to sit down with your attorney and discuss your fitness and your wife's unfitness as parents, as well as proof of both assertions. However, sole custody for a father is difficult to get, and you may end up with joint custody.
For more information, contact a local firm like Glasz Law.
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